I created this blog post as part of a demonstration in a recent Code Talk session I recorded about the Flatiron student blogs. Feel free to check out the video below and view the session notes here.

I know this post is full of bad words. It’s actually a bunch of monologues given by one of my favorite actors, Samuel L. Jackson. I found this awesome tool called Samuel L. Ipsum that will generate “motherfucking placeholder text motherfucker”. If this isn’t for you, search “Lorem Ipsum” generators and I’m sure you’ll be able to find something to your liking, perhaps Cat Ipsum so you can “litter your copy with more kitty”?

Now take it away Mr. Jackson…

Samuel L. Jackson as Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction
Photo sourced from the Samuel L. Ipsum website

Look, just because I don't be givin' no man a foot massage don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin' house, fuckin' up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, 'cause I'll kill the motherfucker, know what I'm sayin'? [1]

My money's in that office, right? If she start giving me some bullshit about it ain't there, and we got to go someplace else and get it, I'm gonna shoot you in the head then and there. Then I'm gonna shoot that bitch in the kneecaps, find out where my goddamn money is. She gonna tell me too. Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you, motherfucker. You listen: we go in there, and that nigga Winston or anybody else is in there, you the first motherfucker to get shot. You understand? [2]

Now that we know who you are, I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense! In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain's going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero. And most times they're friends, like you and me! I should've known way back when... You know why, David? Because of the kids. They called me Mr Glass. [3]

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee. [4]

The above is just a sample of some text you can generate with the Samuel L. Ipsum tool.